The Westbrook Pages

The VA's getting ever more concerned.

It's now two days PGW (Post George Wander) and, barring a few drunk claims on Saturday night, we have no leads. As for the drunken claimed sightings of George having a pint in the King's Head and then hopping on the W7 to Muswell Hill: we have your number; and it'll appear here if you do it again you naughty lad!

Hey, threatening Westbrook! A bit of work required there I think. Hmmm.

The poster campaign is attracting lots of attention though, and some of the number tabs have been carefully removed. A good sign I suppose.

We're "holding thumbs" as they say in South Africa, instead of "fingers crossed".

Do you really think they say that? According to my guide book to Cape Town they do. We're off to Cape Town soon. And from there to Zambia. And from there to Zanzibar! I learned last week from a friend who's working at what will be our safari lodge in Zambia, that there are lots of local monkeys. She added that they are of a species notable for their bright blue sweetbreads!

This got me thinking. Is George worried that he'll not fit in when we arrive? I can't say I've ever looked, but I suspect that I'd have noticed if he had a couple of bright five-pointers in his lunchbox. Forget Banners and the local hymn hall! I'm off to Crouch End's tattoo shop! If they've tales of a recent simian request for testicular repigmentation, then our lead-drought might be over.

"Holding thumbs"? Well, they call traffic lights "robots", and the monkeys have blue bollocks so I guess it's entirely plausible.

Westbrook's in trouble. Last night, on way back from the pub to Westbrook's house, George (in Westbrook's bag) made a break for liberty. He was probably simply trying to get home first and surprise Westbrook. Alas, he lost his way. The VA is distraught. Even Punk's distraught.

We've even fly-postered Crouch End ...



Do you think that will do it?

I'm off to fly-post some more this morning. I think postings by the church and Banners should reach most people in Crouch End on a Sunday.

Please, if you know where George is, let Westbrook know. Westbrook needs your help. George needs to be with the The VA!

Westbrook needs to be in less trouble.

Where does the time go?

You tell yourself that a post a week should be manageable, then you realise that you've let another month slip past!

But what a good month. Even if not sportingly good. We were twice comprehensively beaten by the All blacks. We were thrashed by the Wallabies. We were denied the semi-finals of Euro 2004 by a retinally disadvantages Swiss.

Thank God for cricket and Henman's continued inclusion in Wimbledon, even if the speed of his exit is currently being hampered by the traditional English summer.

So, a good month regardless. Last night was particularly excellent. Me, the VA, the Turk (can I say that?) and Hollywood's Seamstress. A Pub. Wine. Beer. And conversation which drifted from the playlist for Holly and Turk's upcoming wedding (of which more later) and our recent departure from Portugal. I also learned how lucky I'd been on Thursday.

Thursday. A bar in Lausanne. I watched a very exciting Portuguese win over the English helped by the inability of our captain to kick a ball 12 yards with a professional degree of accuracy. Unfortunately, his role was that of supporting player to the lead Blighty goal-dodger: the referee.

Now, I was working. With clients, a dozen or so of them. It's fair to say that the Westbrook's usual placid demeanor becomes positively genial when in the company of the people who pay for his existence.

But national pride was on the line, and my companions (each of a different, other, nation) were willing to accommodate the odd deviation from normal. Hence, Beckham was receiving a great deal of colourful advice and judgment.

Had, however, I known then that the ref was a rosti-munching, watch-making, pocket-knife-bearing fondu-fiend, I'm sure the deviations would have been too far. I'd have attracted the wrong kind of raised eyebrows from my clients, and, more importantly, the sharpening of native glances. I doubt that this raising and sharpening would have done much to maintain my wealth nor health.

Much, then, was my relief upon discovering this cuckoo-clockery only once I was safely returned to the company of friends in a London pub. Lucky escape Westbrook.

Back to that play list. They need themes for our generation. Most of our Friday night drunken suggestions were already covered. Things like:

Everybody needs somebody by the Blues Brothers, Duran Duran's Planet Earth, Come on Eileen, Echo Beach, Twist and Shout, Sit Down, etc, etc.

Any suggestions, they've got a whole evening to fill?


Come on Tim


13 10 04
PS - This is what they ended up with:

1999 by Prince
All the small things by Blink 182
All You Need Is Love by The Beatles
Another Point Of View by DB Boulevard
Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet
Beat it by Michael Jackson
Better the Devil You Know by Kylie Minogue
Big Time Sensuality by Bjork
Billy Jean by Micael Jackson
Bird House In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants
Blame It On The Boogie by Jackson Five
Borderline by Madonna
Born To Hand Jive by Grease Soundtrack
Break Out by Swing Out Sister
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
Café Del Mar 98 by Energy 52
Can you Feel it by Jackson Five
Candy Girl by New Addition
Close To You by The Cure
Comfortably Numb by Scissor Sisters
Connected by Stereo MC’s
Cow Girl by Underworld
Dance Hall Days by Wang Chung
Dancing In The Moonlight by Top Loader
Day Dream Believer by The Monkees
Digital Love by Daft Punk
Disappear by INXS
Disco Inferno by Tramps
Do The Hustle by Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony
Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood by The Animals
Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen
Don’t you Want Me by Human League
DUI by Har mar Surperstar
Electric Dreams by Moody Blues
Ever Fallen In Love by Fine Young Cannibals
Every little thing she does is magic by Police
Flashdance - What A Feeling by Irene Cara
Gangsta Trippin by Fatboy Slim
Get Up Stand Up by Stellar Project
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindy Lauper
God is a DJ by Faithless
Good Luck by Basement Jaxx
Happy People (Original mix) by Static Revenger
Heart Of Glass by Blondie
Hey Ya by Outkast
Hyperactive by Thomas Dolby
I Feel Good Things For You by Daddy’s Favourite
I Feel Love by Donna Summer
I Love The Nightlife by Alica Bridges
I want you Back by Jackson Five
I’m Your Man by Wham!
If This Ain’t Love by Spiller
Into the Groove by Madonna
It Had To Be You by Frank Sinatra
It’s Not Unusual by Tom Jones
Japanese Boy by Aneka
Jolene by Dolly Parton
Jump by Van Halen
Kids in America by Kim Wilde
Lady by Modjo
Laura by Scissor Sisters
Let’s hear It For The Boy by Deniece Williams
Lola’s Theme by Shape shifters
Love and Marriage by Frank Sinatra
Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue
Love Is a Drug by Brian Ferry
Love Shack by B-52’s
Mr Wendal by Arrested Development
Music by Madonna
My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White
My Way by Frank Sinatra
Nine To Five by Dolly Parton
One More Time by Daft Punk
One Way Or Another by Blondie
Passion by Gat Decor
Plug it In by Basement Jaxx
Que Sera Mi Vida by Gibson Bros
Raspberry Beret by Prince
Ready To Go by Republica
Rhythm is a mystery by K Klass
Rhythm Of The Night by Debarge
Ride On Time by Black Box
Right Here Right Now by Fatboy Shank
Rio by Duran Duran
Rockafellashank by Fatboy Slim
Rush Hour by Jane Wiedlin
Satellite Of Love by Lou Reed
She Drives Me Crazy by Fine Young Cannibals
Shiny Happy People by REM
Sing It Back by Moloko
Skyscraper by Underworld
Some Kind Of Bliss by Kylie Minogue
Stayin’ Alive by Bee Gees
Steal My Sunshine by Len
Stupid Disco by Junior Jack
Suburbia by Pet Shop Boys
Summer Night City by Abba
Sunday Girl by Blondie
Superstylin by Groove Armada
Suspicious Minds by Elvis Presley
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Take On Me by A-HA
The Heat Is On by Glen Frey
The Staunton Lick by Lemon Jelly
The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra
Thriller by Michael Jackson
Tide is High by Blondie
Twist and Shout by Beatles
Utah Saints by Utah Saints
Voodoo Ray by A Guy Called Gerald
Walk Like An Egyptian by The Bangles
Walking On Sunshine by Katrina And The Waves
Wanna Be Startin Something by Michael Jackson
Waterfall by Atlantic Ocean
We become One by Faithless
We Built This City On Rock and Roll by Star Ship
We Close Our Eyes by Go West
Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim
What Can You Do For Me by Utah Saints
What Do I have To Do by Kylie Minogue
Where Love Lives by Alison Limerick
You Can’t Hurry Love by Phil Collins
You Got The Love by The Source feat Candi Staton
You Really Got Me by Kinks
You Should Be Dancing by Bee Gees
Young Hearts Run Free by Candi Staton


Cool!

Is at age...?

Or is it beer?

These are my principal candidates. I keep going out, doing interesting things, meeting interesting people, reading interesting books and generally immersing myself in stuff I like to do.

At the time I occasionally think, "This is great. I will have to make mention of it in the Westbrook pages."

Alas, come time to address keyboard in office: these memories have become abstract positives, accompanied by little recalled detail.

It's quite frustrating not remembering entirely why you're so happy about something. But I'm learning to live with it.

I think I'm also going to have to spend some time with my companions rebuilding fragment memory:

1) MSX, great to see you in Copenhagen!

Good: Russian bar floating; Free-town logo cool; no chain bicycle; chairs, many, smart, designer; weird porn loo.
Bad: Opera house muted and burned-eating dog head.

2) VA away in LA!
Good: eating much curry; to work cycling, car passing; Africa flight booking; Parliament Hill book reading; and shiny new gadget shopping.
Bad: VA far away; time zone telephony; evenings 'Oak free; DVDs lonely; and Jean Claude Van Damm is gopping.

3) Blackheath hill-side gathering
Good: Hot-cycle-picnic-Greenwich; Turtle and Fin; late Led Zep; Feathers by Show home and Ms T cook host drink mum.
Bad: VA away on Sunday!

4) Trip to see Mr Dangerous
Good: Another cool 'Oak! See BJS and Ms Z; Opposite of golf skill
Bad: Turnpike trailer trash; morning skull fritz; dial-up download; and no birthday invitation from the thumbprintheads!

5) Clapham with Dog, Diamond, Punk and VA
Good: Sequel brunch; Sequel beer; Sequel barman cool. Movie hype; Rinky doorman Dink; Belgian schnapps
Bad: Movie real, eco crap, oak script

6) Greenwich again
Good: food, people, madness; beer, union, Frodo; Holidays for banks, route-finding property search
Bad: Morning Tuesday

It's a fine selection of memory slices. I'm not sure their restitching will improve them.

Would deja-vu pills fix amnesia?