Booze law

If I've not previously mentioned this, I'm not a fan of the Daily Mail. Essentially, it's read by an undemanding audience that rather wished the world was the way they'd like it to be as opposed to the way it actually is. A charming bunch of people, all revelling in their mediocrity. You can spot them....

They don't like diversity.
They like segregation.
They're keen on liberty.
But not if it upsets their routine.
They do like opportunity.
But only the kind you pay for.
They largely believe that Maggie was the best thing that happened to the UK in the last 30 years
They likely oppose laws that prohibit marriage between first cousins.

You get the picture.

So, I generally take the line that if the DM supports it, it must be quite awful. Try it, you'll find it works.

Currently, they're championing the Tory-led opposition of licensing law relaxation. Ergo... licensing law relaxation must be a good thing.

It actually doesn't take a great deal of thought to arrive at this conclusion without the DM, but I was sufficiently concerned by the errant ponderings of a colleague today, I feel the need to lay it out.

Q) Have we any example from history of licensing restriction having an effect upon society, particularly with regard to alcohol consumption, health and crime?

A) Yes. 1920s Chicago. Al Capone. Speakeasy. Massacre. Civil disobedience. Smuggling. Moonshining. Death. Murder. Theft. Damage. Lovely. Although the cast of the untouchables looked great in their Armani suits.

Q) Does the majority of the clientele of out country's bars and pubs routinely get so drunk that they puke, fight, collapse and fornicate on the streets?

A) No, we're mostly free of these beery outcomes. The vast majority enjoy a drink. Occasionally they enjoy too many, but most of the drinkers get up in the morning. They go to work. They don't fight. They don't puke. They don't go home via the hospital. They don't queue at Boots the following morning for a dunce pill, and half of them only occasional pee where they shouldn't.

Q) Is a law that penalises the vast majority because of the prejudices of the Daily Mail reader a fair law?

A) No

Surely the extremes of drunken behaviour are a blight inflicted upon us by a minority - possibly a minority drawn from the spawn of Daily Mail readers, but a minority nonetheless. Their problems are not associated with the distribution, price or supply of alcohol. If I could buy six cans of Special Brew from the local corner shop when I was 16, then I'm sure the average belligerent 20-something idiot desiring a skin full will satiate his or her desire with ease, regardless of whether or not the bar is open to sense, or at hours that even the prudish septics would consider prehistoric.

That the roaring Tory drunks of Westminster are taking with the morons is only a sickening indication of how desperate they are for a dying, blue-rinsed electorate.


This rant was brought to you by a desire for a single pint of Timothy Taylor's in the King's Head at 2255 on a Tuesday.